The grammar pedant in me is in charge of today’s blog. She loves English and is sick of people butchering it and thinking it’s ok. GP speaks:

Should have, not should of

Think about it: why on earth would you put a preposition after “should”? No, seriously, I’m asking you: Why?

I should under the table.

How does that read?

***

Definitely not definately.

I don’t care that you misspell this. Really, I don’t. I get it: you’re The One. The only person on Planet Earth who didn’t get a spellchecker with his word-processing software. It’s not your fault. I absolve thee, I absolve thee, I absolve thee.

What’s that?
Oh.

***

Your vs. you’re

This one I won’t forgive because it’s like “forgetting” if you’re wearing a bra. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about. Supporting the girls or not supporting the girls. Both of them go but don’t even pretend you can’t tell the difference between one and the other. If you don’t know the difference between your and you’re, I strongly recommend suing the pants off of your primary school. They did not do right by you. Your not just due a refund: as well as getting you’re money back, there’s interest and emotional distress to consider .

Eh? Are your eyes bleeding yet? Mine kinda are.

***

It’s and its

This a toughie. We all trip over it sometimes. I propose introducing a new prefix and being done with this apostrophe hoopla.

The dog is chewing tsbone.
Tsraining outside. Take a brolly with you.
Tsdelicious, Ma!

I really had to get that out of my system.
Now I feel quite at ease.
Yay.