We all think we are a little bit unhinged, don’t we? I mean, are there actually people who go through every day thinking: “Yes, all my dots are connected.”?

I’ve been freelancing for a year now and it is pretty much like I thought it would be. The things I love are the solitude, the control, the praise that I don’t have to share when I complete a project, the freedom to spend the whole day in my pajamas, if I choose so to do, the ability to get by without the pesky intrusion of a phone because all comms are via email.

Something I have also learnt is that not everybody thinks integrity is important. At the risk of sounding very Pollyanna and holier-than-thou, I’m ok with going on record to say that if I say I’ll do something, I’ll do it. Whether it’s something as trivial as actually responding to an email “asap” or delivering a project on time and within budget. I do it. And I do so because if a client can’t trust me, Freelancer A, then he’ll just move on to Freelancer B. I like to think one day I’ll become completely indispensable and the writing world will be brought to its knees if I skip even a single beat. But until that day comes, I’m guided by the fact that unless I’m upfront, articulate and accurate, the work will dry up because there are other people out there who do what I do.

So those are my cards laid down on the table. How come, then, there are people on the other side of the provider-client relationship who think it’s ok to be dishonest? To withhold payment for projects that have been successfully delivered? Projects for which they gladly give testimonials. Projects for which they will recommend you. Projects which they would like you to do the follow-up work on. But projects for which they do not want to pay. How does that work?

And then there the people who will always try to get you to do work for free.
Work from which they will receive commercial benefit. But they want your time and skill for nothing.

People who completely waste your time with grandiose ideas of empires they want to build and dragons they want to slay. Yet when you actually black-and-white it for them, they shrivel up and disappear. This too, is a form of dishonesty because I get paid for my time. Do not waste it. Biological clocks all over the place are ticking increasingly louder and the time I spend listening to you parum-pum-pumming is time I could be spending looking for Mr. Right or having my eggs frozen. So the logical extension to that thought is that you giving me the runaround may eventually lead to me dying childless and alone. Is that what you want? Seriously, is it?

12 months is not that long but it’s long enough for me to have changed my tack. In the beginning, I put up with these types of people because I was new to the game and desperate to get my feet under the table. But here’s the thing with desperation: it skews your reality so much that you perceive everything in absolutes. Do or die. Now or never. Kill or be killed. But that’s not reality at all. If you can only see black and white – no light and shade – then you are standing too close. Step back. And disconnect.

That’s what I’m doing from now onwards. Stepping back. Disconnecting.

dishonest, freelance, lie, single