You know when people say: “If there’s anything I can do, let me know”?
That’s code for:  “See how my words make me sound like I am totally open and up for helping you with whatever you need when actually I have no intention of doing a single thing to support you?”

They really are.  Thing is: the old “If there’s anything …” line is invariably delivered to the overwhelmed.  People are not processing as clearly as they usually might, due to being under a horrendous amount of pressure.  Perhaps overwhelmed with grief.  Or overwhelmed with a new baby. Overwhelmed at work.

The thing with “If there’s anything…” places the entire burden on the overhwelmee.  You think of something you need from me.  Then you drum up the courage / find the time to ask.  Then you get in touch.  I’m outta here.

If people really wanted to help, they’d be specific, and proactive.

“Do you want me to go and pick up ABC from the airport?”

or

“It looks like you are nearly out of groceries, I can go get some if you like.”

In fact, this one, just do it .  Just buy the frackin groceries.

And what about a practical and definitive:

“”What do you need me to do?”

That’s what someone real would say.  Not a careless platitude thrown over your shoulder as you prance out the door.

I’m just saying…